My heart is filled with joy and peace in this moment. I woke up super late and missed all of my classes [again] due to a clustered head of memories of transformative experiences and relationships I built. You may or may not know that I was a part of the new documentary produced by Laverne Cox entitled ‘Laverne Cox Presents: The T Word” and it aired on MTV and LOGO this week and while that experience was phenomenal and I have never felt so instrumental in the movement as I was there, I wish not to reflect on that in this post.
I validate and uplift that experience but what I truly want to dwell on is the singular day I spent at the black trans revolution summit held in Pittsburgh, PA. This summit was organized by my goddess queen sister lourdes Ashley Hunter and my king brother Michael David Battle.
I remember when I was asked to join their board of Ambassadors in which we were asked to utilize social media to truly articulate why this revolution was important to us. I poured my heart out in my posts trying to express to my sisters and brothers through computer screen why their relationships and their love was so important to me. After weeks of this social media building, we were informed that we could register and everything would be set. To make a long story short, the oppressive nature of time and obligations did not allow me to spend all four days at the summit to fellowship with my family. However, I made it a point to come out for the days that I could which were the last two days. I missed all of the bonding and relationship building. I missed all of the important movement work in the beginning. I was worried that I would come in like some intruder.
I landed in Pittsburgh after a tumultuous flight and sat in the airport waiting for my ride to come pick me up. After about an hour, I was received by the lovely Douglas Sanders. Allow em to take this time to validate Douglas. I noticed how he would express his disappointment in himself for not feeling like he was enough and, Douglas, you are everything and then some! The work you did to make sure this summit flowed easily and the love you showed us all was just so wonderful. You were a gem and I appreciate you so very much! Please know that. Never feel like you’re undervalued or a totally fuckup. You are worth everything!
I headed to my hotel, took a minute to powder my nose, and then walked into the space where the rest of my family were having their session. I walked in and was greeted with smiles and jubilance. It was so lovely to see all the “chocolate skin” (in the words of my sister Cherno Biko) once again. It’s something about being amongst my trans family that reboots me. I tend to feel drained and unaffirmed in my day to day life as a college student in a southern catholic university. I am always on the verge of giving up when I am revived by the brilliance of my family. So grabbing a chair and sitting next to me loves and feeling their skin was just truly phenomenal. I don’t get that often.
In this one day, I felt revived as a leader and change agent. I developed my own leadership statement and to share it and have your people affirm that, validate it, and love it was such a blessing. I was given the opportunity to debrief on my experience with MTV and the documentary and I was able to be so open… so vulnerable… so raw. Affirmation after affirmation were passed around whenever a brother or sister needed it and that made my heart flutter. Later that night, we partied to celebrate the anniversaries of the Trans Women of Color Collective NYC AND The Garden of Peace Project.
But let me drop some knowledge and serious energy on you all. This experience wasn’t just fun and games for me. This experience wasn’t just a time for me to relax and have fun. This was a strategic opposition of the tyrannical cisgender white centered systems burdening our lives. We traveled across the country to celebrate our existence! We shared space for only ourselves and developed our skills as outspoken revolutionaries. We stomped the streets as a unit in dynamic ways. We stormed our hotel and demanded nothing but the best treatment. We laughed and loved and felt so affirmed amongst one another – something that society seeks to eliminate. We didn’t allow our circumstances to break our union. We honored all truths and came together in solidarity to create this huge black and brown queer/trans revolutionary force that allowed all of us to feel empowered and important.
This space and spaces like it are important for they teach us how to love ourselves in a world that longs to eliminate us. I learned that affirming myself whenever I wish is not problematic. I sometimes apologize for giving myself an affirmation or for feeling pretty at a moment but this experience has taught me to stop that! I live in a society that teaches me that I will not be beautiful ever unless I adhere to white beauty standards and go under the knife and the fact that I live authentically and can still claim that, it’s revolutionary. To affirm my sisters was everything as well. Our bathrooms were hideous but the things going on in them were transformative. The girl talk, the femme process – beating one another’s faces and doing our hair – all of that was a blessing. My sister, Elle, stated that she always does that alone. She never has the opportunity to share in that experience so to do so was a blessing.
Having our own private parties, floor in the hotel, space for our fellowshipping, food for our sustenance…. all of that was a blessing. I felt important and worthy. And to have my brothers there to bring a shift to the trauma I feel when interacting with men was such an honor. Men always sexualize and dehumanize me and treat me in ways in which I feel unworthy. But my brothers took care of me and affirmed my existence. They looked me in my eyes. They honored my truth. They took care of me when I had a little too much to drink. They shifted the atmosphere in regards to what manhood is and how it can be perceived. I was truly grateful for that. To have men that looked at black trans women and honor their beauty, resilience, poise, and intellect was such a sight to see!
I always say that community building and story telling are two super important aspects of mobilization and that is what happened in my time at #BTR14. I am so blessed and grateful that I had the opportunity to be in that space. I hope for many many more of those experiences to come. Each time I attend a summit with my family, I feel more and more empowered. I feel hungrier for world domination. I am inspired to effect change. There is no love greater than the one I have for my brothers and sisters. I want to keep everything in the family. I want to show the world that we can come together and resist oppression. I want to continue being in spaces that build our skills to be our true selves and still be critical change agents in the world. We’re ready and we’re coming.
Thank you so much Lourdes Ashley Hunter, Michael David Battle, Cherno Biko, Aaryn Lang-Fleming, J Mase III, Katria Goodlet, Nala Simone, Vanessa Victoria, Milan Nicole-Sherry, Ovid Amorson, Tahj Carter, Wripley Bennet, Elle Hearns, Mona Whitley, Aria Copeland, Ruby Lopez, Paris Gayle, Rashod Brown, SahLeem Butler, and anyone else who was present at the summit in spirit! You all are my loves. I long to continue to build relationship and also watch our family grow, grow, and grow. The devil WINS!!!…… An asswhopping! ❤
L'lerrét Allure 